theinkheartblog

letting the ink tell the tales conceived in my mind………

Month: July, 2013

I’m not the kind to concern myself with the plenty fake kind of democracy we enjoy in this country. I’ve gotten to the stage where I think it is better to keep quiet, pray and hope for a better national leader than give myself headache over issues I can’t do anything about. I’m a nigerian that just read the news and shake my head in penury but this is almost too much for me to keep quiet about. As a female with lots of dreams about the liberation of females all over the world, I will speak my mind about this!
Why should a man who claimed to be educated and a law maker suggest that under-aged marriage should be approved and then back it up with religion? It is “un-islamic” not to allow such marriage, so you claim. I could not even stop myself from being angry at such retort. This is not the matter of religion but to satisfy selfish means. Apart from the fact that it is wrong for Yerima to blaspheme against religion, it is also wrong for him to suggest that a girl as young as 13 to give up her life for marriage. What happens when every parent, especially those that are struggling to send their children to school, decide to stop educating their girls? Is Yerima saying that girls don’t have any reasonable quota to add to the community except to marry and serve their husbands? Don’t these people think deep? Under-aged marriage is a thing of the past and should not even be brought around in 2013 where everything is getting re-branded, where women leaders are rising and women duties are so far from the kitchen alone.
All I can I see is a selfish man who wants the law to cunningly justify his reason for marrying that 13year old girl some years back or he wants to marry another. Law makers should stop destroying the future of so many people for their own greediness. They should stop giving the wrong reasons not to like a religion just because of their own greed. If the under-aged marriage can be constitutionally acceptable, then the future of nigeria is BLEAK!!
Where we have chosen to put all the blame on these selfish, power-driven, educated illiterate men, I will like us not to. Though a law is in support of the under-aged marriage but the parents of these children are key determinants to the future of these girls. At 13, I did practically everything my parents told me; they were my voice. So, if these parents decide to “sell” their girls out all in the name of poverty, then I think our cries are just useless. We should not only petition to eradicate this law but also empower/educate these men. Under-aged marriage is the same as slavery. Whether we like it or not, it is a form of child abuse. Petitioning is not only the key to eradicate child marriage but educating the parents too!!
God help the girl child!!!

Note: If you’re in Lagos, don’t keep quiet, join us at the #ChildNotBride Petition Signing | Alausa Park, Opposite Lagos State Governor’s Office, Ikeja … http://t.co/IL20djiLIF

Posted by theinkheart

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She shed tears as the man with the huge belly climbed on her. She could not understand why her parents had decided to sell her off into something she had no inkling what it entailed. At the first thrust, she almost screamed down the roof of the house in pain. She could not even understand what was going on in her system. All she could comprehend was the excruciating pain and the weight of the fat man that was threatening to cut her air supply short. She could not understand why she was subjected to such a life. Her dream to travel around the world and visit with important people had just been cut short. She wanted to go to school and be a successful journalist. She wanted to help her parents move out from the mud house they lived in in the village. She wanted to be the pillar of her family; the one the whole village envied and talked about. But that was no more. She was to live her life as the 10th wife of the richest man in the village. She was to shove her dreams aside and embrace the duties of upholding a family; something she had no clue about. She sighed as the man finally rolled of her and was snoring within seconds. She was a slave to a man who wasn’t contented with what he had, a slave to a man who had killed her dreams just for his own selfish pleasure. She stood up and went into the bathroom. The water from the shower was cold; just as her world. In the shower, she cried for the other girls out there like her; children who would have their childhood and dreams snatched from them and at 13, given the responsibility of creating children that would be treated as such.

She’s just a child, a child, still innocent
She’s still clueless about life, a life you want to dent
She’s just a child; a child, still full of dreams
She deserves to live life to the fullest and bursting off the seams
She’s just a child, a child so guiless
She’s to be pampered and not destroyed because you’re thoughtless
She’s just a child, a child still to be nurtured
She’s the future of our nation, why do you want her tortured
She’s just a child, a child, for Christ’s sake
She doesn’t deserve this, don’t put her life at stake!!
She’s just a child, a child still innocent
She deserves to live, not a means to make an extra cent
She’s just a child, please let her be
To a better a nigeria, she is the key

Posted by theinkheart

Every woman deserves the right man. A man made especially for her. A man who will pamper her, support her, her very own prince charming. It is one of our quests to find that special man that completes us and that is why we want to look good always; wear couture dresses, eat the right food and do exercises to be in good shape. We want to act and dress like a proper lady so as to attract a man that has standards, appreciates the good standards you have and not some miscreant. True that a man does the proposing but you (the woman) determines what the man is going to get from. A lady is like a beautiful and fresh flower, every fly wants to perch on it. The lady decides whether the man (likened to the fly) would want to extract from the flower or reside with the flower. Where we stand with a man is dictated by how we take control over every situation. We determine whether he sees us as either a wife material or a bang material. Every word said, every move said, every signal you give to a man determines whether he is going to keep you or just play you. In essence, we control what fate we face in every relationship we go into. Dating for me is a lot like business, the best way to be successful is to control things that you have control over. In other words, you can’t control things you don’t have power over and to have to power over these, we have to understand them very well and master them well.
As a woman, the first and most important thing you must have control over is yourself that is your image. How you conduct yourself, how you let a man approach you and talk to you all make up the kind of relationship you are going to have. For the almost perfect relationship you always want, you have to start with yourself. You have to gain the knowledge of who you are. Understand perfectly well what you represent as a woman and with understanding comes maturity. With maturity, you understand that for another person to love you like you want, you have to love yourself. As the saying goes, what you have in abundance is what you give to others. If you don’t love yourself, there is no way a man can truly love you like you deserve much less loving the man back to form a lasting relationship with him. If you don’t love yourself, you’ll always have something holding you back from being taken serious. A woman who doesn’t love herself will lack self confidence and very low self esteem. A woman with low self esteem will easily to succumb to what she is not supposed to, hereby making her a bang material.
Always understand the purpose for entering a relationship. You can only two purposes for entering a relationship; for yourself or for other reasons (The other reasons being peer-pressure, for monetary and material values, to satisfy your parents or siblings etc). The most important purpose for entering a relationship is for you. A man appreciates a woman who knows what she wants, a lady that has standards. Understanding your purpose of entering a relationship gives u a better perspective on what you want from a man. A man only wants three major things from a woman; support, loyalty and sex. Understanding your purpose for being in a relationship with a man determines whether he is going to get these three things from you or if he’s just going to use you as a sex toy. Build yourself to be a better person. The way you dress, act, talk determines whether your man is going to keep you as his main plan or just a back up plan. Be your own person. Build your character and your personality; this will determine the man’s attitude towards you.
The success of your relationship depends solely on you. You might be cute as a button and sexy as video vixen, if you are not what the man wants in a wife, nothing can make him stay. The sex might make him stay with you but just for a while. A man will never take a woman who has problems with herself seriously. Love yourself, understand yourself, and build yourself. The package should be a plus; your content should always be your upmost concern.

Dako Alice Temitope (theinkheart)
@emini_ANOTI
(Written first for http://www.everywoman.org)

I pray for you, more than I pray for myself If this isn’t love, then tell me what it is
I close my eyes and you’re all I see. If this isn’t real, then tell me what it is
I’m lost in my world of imaginations, where all I hear is your voice
I try to block it out but it is like a sweet song I can’t ignore… If this isn’t love, then tell me what it is
I find my thoughts straying to you and they are beautiful thoughts of you… Tell me, baby. I want to know. If this isn’t real, then what is it?

You keep spinning round in my head, making me wander in my mind; is this even mutual? Tell me that you feel the same way too
I lost all concentration when your name is called. All I want to do is be close to you, tucked in your arms.
I kick and scream inwardly at how far you are from my reach. All I long for is to be beside you, never for us to be apart.
Is it just me or you feel that way too? Tell me, darling. I’ve got to know. If this is mutual or not? Tell me, I’m loosing my mind

The words you speak to me, do you really mean them. Are they even genuine or you’re just teasing me
Your touch; soft and light as the feathers, tell me they are sincere.
Tell me the tiny jolts of electricity I feel when we kiss is not one sided. Tell me you feel them too
Tell me you go weak in the knees like I do whenever we are together.
Let me know sweetheart. Do you yearn for me as I yearn for you or I’m just chasing shadows. Tell me, I’m going crazy here

Is it all a game to you? Do you even how great this feeling I have for you is?
Am I just a conquest to you? Another notch on the headboard? Tell me, oh tell me if I truly matter to you or I’m just another rump in the sheets. Don’t hide it from me anymore, I need to know the truth
Don’t feed me with lies because you think it tastes better… If I’m going to be embittered, I don’t care, just tell me the truth.
Do you love me or is it just a figment of my imagination?

Written and Posted by theinkheart

Democracy avail citizens the right to free expression as evidently posited by the constitution. This right in its totality is a fulcrum for the sustainability of democracy and its features. As unrestricted and proliferated as the choice to expression so also is it to excesses of same if not regulated. In modern day Nigeria expression is gradually going electronic and growing electronically. The presence of our expressions largely occupies the internet described by Nobel Laureate Wole Soyinka as the accommodating madrassa – in tandem with global embrace of the internet. This cordiality with emerging cyber trends is salient in the myriad membership participation of Nigerians in social forums like facebook,twitter, instagram and so on. However in recent “cyber” times more and many Nigerians make inroads into blogging – proliferating same with a viral velocity hanging it on their “rightful” right to expression. As proliferated and unregulated as the business of blogging is in Nigeria, it is it culture of flagrant plagiarism that poses a threat to freedom of rights. According to wikipedia, Plagiarism is the “wrongful appropriation” and “purloining and publication” of another author’s “language, thoughts, ideas, or expressions,” and the representation of them as one’s own original work”.

In elementary english, plagiarism is an abuse of intellectual right, a theft of individual right and a rape on ownership of literary expressions. Nigerian bloggers gladly copy paste informations on the net – word for word and punctuation for punctuation indulging in what Roman poet, Martial refers to as literary kidnap.
Although not a criminal act but that which bothers on literary morals, this copy and paste culture not only constitute an abuse of intellectual right it largely contribute it unhealthy quota to the production of half-truths, quark journalists, journalistic dishonesty, and unethical journalism. This celebration of unethical practice in cyber journalism is a colossal concern for the minds that creates. Although common sense and public acceptance can be a barometer for sifting which blog is a commonplace – nothing like the moral regulation of plagiarism in cyber-blogging will help the growth of cyber-journalism in Nigeria. These endemic theft of literary expression is suffered daily by frontline blogs and webistes – daily they swim to safety shores least they drown in the sea of lazy and slumbering inks. This rapid surge in plagiarism has produce many tom, dick and blogs – littering the literary cyber space with blogs who ordinarily should be a residence of the trash can. These blogs crowd the internet purloining ideas doing daily disservice to journalistic best practice.

But as you flaunt this newly cultivated ignorance to expression do your conscience a favour desist from “kidnapping of verses”.

Written by Oluwagbenga Elutidioye aka Audiohead