Mrs Njoku tore at her clothes like a woman possessed with legion of demons. No one could stop the tears that rolled freely like a waterfall down her face. Sweat and tears soaked her clothes and plastered it to her body like a second skin. Everyone begged her to stop but they all knew they were giving a futile advice.
They strived hard to take what was in her hands but she refused. She hugged the cold body of her child in her arms like it would resurrect the dead girl. Her thirteen year old daughter had stabbed herself to death and no one could fathom why.
What transpired with this teenager, no one could tell except the mother’s brother who had forcefully had his way with his niece. The pain was too much for the girl to bear, she felt no one would believe her if she shared the horror with them and so she took her life to end it all…..
Tade screamed as she pushed. The excruciating pain she felt toppled her world in black and horrid emotions, reminding her of the day the baby in her womb was conceived. A dark cold day with the rain descending to earth angrily so much that it felt like it was protesting human wickedness it was when her own father had beaten her to a pulp and taken advantage of her at the age of sixteen just as she was about to start her senior secondary school leaving certificate exam.
She’d felt pain; hot white pain as he rode her roughly, inhumanly that she’d fainted. Two months later, a naïve, shy girl was found pregnant and her not so motherly mother gave her the beating of her life for “telling such terrible lies about the paternity of the bastard”.
She could not take it anymore. She stole a huge chunk of money for her father’s home-bank and ran far away from home. Seven months afterwards, she was breathing her last in a tiny maternity home as the second of her child was delivered. She smiled weakly at her ironic blessings and she smiled, her head began to loll downwards surrendering herself to the peaceful darkness that enveloped her.
She emptied the sachet of phenazepam; a valium like benzodiazepine that could kill if overdosed within minutes. She was tired, tired of living as she was, tired of jumping anytime she heard the door open, tired of living as if her life was perfect.
She was tired of everything and was ready to end it all. She knew her family would be hurt but she was tired of acting surreptitious. She walked around her room and anticipated the pain the pain that would come before the numbing darkness.
She was ready; no pain could be worse than what she’d endured the past month. She took another swig of the vodka she’d sneaked in earlier. She’d read somewhere on the internet that alcohol hasten and heighten the fatality. Minutes passed when she felt the first jab of pain. It was a bit mild, not at all what she was expecting.
Then she felt white sharp needle like pains pricking her insides. The pain was unbearable but it was welcomed this time not like the nights her step father had sexually abused her. He would come to her in the middle of the night while everyone slept and have his way with her, threatening to kill her if she made a sound.
In silence, she suffered the pains. She knew she should talk to someone but she was scared. “What if they blamed me?”, she would always think to herself, so she took the easiest way she knew; taking her own life to end it all.
The pain keeled her over, pushing her to the ground. She rolled on the floor and it felt as if a wild animal was biting and chewing her intestines up but she never willed it to stop. The pain was minor compared to the damage her step father had caused. She could only feel the wetness on her cheeks as she was blanketed in a comforting blackness.
The next morning, an eighteen year old Hadiza was found dead on the floor in her room. On her reading table was an empty sachet of sleeping pills with an almost empty bottle of vodka with no clue as to why she killed herself. No one understood why except for the step father who hurried out of the house because he couldn’t bear the guilt.
She had heard people tell her “what doesn’t kill you would make you stronger” but she didn’t feel that way. She wished she had the courage to kill herself but every time she tried, she couldn’t bring herself to doing it. It was killing her to walk round her office building like everything was fine.
She could not bring herself to tell anybody because she knew they would blame her. She had people blame rape victims for their dilemma and she couldn’t bear it if anyone blamed her.
Moreover, he had threatened to kill her and ruin her family if she told anyone and Tega’s boss was one ruthless business mogul everyone steered clear of.
She knew he would truly carry out his threats if he got wind she told anyone. Not that death wasn’t a better option to what she was going through, she would never put her family at risk of danger.
She stared out the window of her new office on the top floor. If only she knew she was only promoted as the chairman’s secretary for the boss selfish reasons, she could have declined. She was handpicked to be used whenever the chairman felt like.
She heard the door to her office open and only the chairman entered without knocking to ease himself sexually. She was tired of being used against her will and she was filled with renewed fear that propelled her to jump the ten storey office complex.
No one knew why a twenty three year old would end her life in such way. Everyone insinuated but no one came close. Only the selfish and wicked chairman could tell what made her commit suicide.
First written for http://www.aaaborode.wordpress.com
Posted by theinkheart