by theinkheart

According to some people, heartbreak is a pretty normal phase everybody in life has to go through. To them, it is one of those things that shapes your heart to form the opinion of the kind of love you want to grow old with. Because he broke your heart, you want a man who is totally committed to us and won’t want to do anything to hurt us. We start to base our standards on the things that didn’t work out in the last relationship. He cheated on you, so you will always look for a faithful guy. He was not there for you when you needed him, you will want your new man to always be around you every time you need him to be there. When your new man doesn’t meet up with just one or two of these new standards you’ve set based on your last heartbreak, you are quick to leave the man. Hence the statement, all man are the same.

I’ve dated enough to understand that all men are not the same. Men are so different from each other that you need to really open up to learn the do’s and dont’s of a new guy you are with. It is so wrong to think that all men function the same why and I think that is why most people get it wrong. It is not all men that want to get into your pants, some really want to get to know you very well because sex is just as sacred to them as it is to you. What A wants from you is different from what the other wants from you. It is also totally different what you will receive from these guys. Don’t pack up your baggage to the next dude hoping the guy wants what your ex want or will give you the same thing your ex gave you. In fact, I’ve learnt that girls often dictate what they want to the guy they are dating. Imagine a girl telling a guy “I know all men are cheats but don’t cheat to my face” and you expect him not to? You’ve told him already to continue cheating but just do it away from you. You’ve told him you don’t mind if he is cheating on you as long as you don’t know about it.

Don’t go with the mentality that they are all the same else, you will get the same treatment and be heartbroken over and over again. When you break up with a guy, wait and make sure you are truly over the relationship before you move on to the next guy. I see girls who break up today and have new boyfriends tomorrow. You often wonder how easy it is to change boys but my opinion is just that these were already having backup plans in case their boos leave them. Most girls are so afraid to be alone that they will go with anybody that shows a slight interest. Relationships are not so easy that will change boys as if they are underwears. When you jump from one person to another, it shows that you are vulnerable and you are susceptible to being played especially when they know you are desperate not to be alone.

Deal with your broken heart before you move on to the next. Take time off the dating game so you can heal properly. Find who you are and learn to love yourself a lot. Discover the reasons you want to be in a relationship. Don’t just go into it because it is normal for you to date; it is totally abnormal to date when your heart is not ready and you are being pressured to. Dating to please people is just a recipe for heartbreak. With your “boyfriend”, never give your 100%. The reason most girls commit suicide when they leave their boyfriends is because they gave their 100 percent especially to a relationship that was not defined. Give as much as he is giving you; let there be a balance. The balance is what will make you not cry or your world fall apart when you break up. Give your 100 percent only in marriage. Don’t just be a girlfriend and do everything for him; cook, clean, have sex, do his laundry etc. Do not give him all the wifely benefits when you are just his girlfriend. What happens when you find out you are just friends with benefits to him or “side chick”? Also, define your relationship from the start. Know what you have with a guy before you get so committed. Don’t base your relationship on assumptions, another thing can make heartbreaks suicidal.

If you are heartbroken, take your time to be alone. If you are not completely healed, you are only going to transfer aggression from your ex to your next. Be alone and enjoy all the good things of life while getting better. Go out, hang out with friends, eat good food, shop and take good care of yourself, buy loads of chocolate and eat at least a bar per day. Healing is not complete without those amazingly yummy brown bars ;). In all, let no man have control over how you feel especially when you’ve broken up. Always remember God loves you too much to be sad. He will never break your heart.

Drop your comments to share your opinions about heartbreaks with me 🙂