theinkheartblog

letting the ink tell the tales conceived in my mind………

Hello sweethearts… I know I disappeared from here again but it was all for the best. Since last year, I’ve been announcing turning the blog into an e-mag of a sort, where I post more than just fictions but a lot more to entertain and educate you guys. It took longer than I expected but I’m so glad to announce to you guys that it’s finally done!!!! And so, henceforth, I will no longer be posting here. All posts have been moved to the new site http://www.theinkheartblog.com. Fiction, Poems will still be posted on the site and alongside that, more interesting articles like “Outfit Of The Day”, “Funny Picture Of The Day”, Recipes, Tutorials, Interviews, Opinionated Articles, Opinion Polls, Tips and Tricks, News and so much more.

As usual, I can do this without you guys; a site is as good as dead without its readers. So, I need you guys to stick me with more than you have been doing in the past. Every click on every post means so much to me. I need you guys to tell a friend to tell another friend who will tell her friends. Help me share post links on your social media accounts and leave comments too on each post (all these are important to the growth of the e-mag). If you have a story, recipe, article, tips, video tutorials or pictorials you want to share, please send to theardentinkheart14@gmail.com. If you are creative, talented and young entrepreneur and you are interested in being interviewed, please send a mail to the above address or add bb pin: 557C1CF0… If you have suggestions, complains or whatsoever please don’t hesitate to contact me. Your feedbacks are important to the growth of the site; really important.

All that said, you guys should head over to http://www.theinkheartblog.com to check out the new site. I added four new posts; a recipe, movie suggestions, fashion tips, business tips, today to test the waters. I will start posting articles officially from the 1st of April. I am really excited about this whole thing and I hope you guys are. And I am hoping to continue with all the series I am yet to finish. What series will you like me to start with?! A friend really wants “The Stalwart Knight” back; Yay or Nah?!!

Hey darlings, how are you guys?!! Been neglecting this blog but not anymore as I’m taking things to the next level… All the talks of change will be fully implemented soon but on a more personal and better platform. As usual, I’m going to need you guy’s support as I can’t do it without you guys. First I will like you guys to like my facebook page: TheInkheart’s, Follow on IG: theardentinkheart, and join bbm channel: C00446F02… A twitter for the site will be announced soon (I’ve been having issues with twitter and verification). To the story of the day (or night), please don’t forget to leave comments and share too (both are very important and helpful)… Thank you guys for sticking with theinkheartblog, you guys are awesome!!!! Enjoy the story
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The day sped by as we stared at the waves struggled to reached the shore first before the other. The bright blue beach had an orange tinge to it from the sun that was already setting. We knew we should leave the shore and go into one of the tents set up for tourists like us but we just could not; our legs felt glued to the wet grounds and it was not just our legs that were heavy, our tongues were too, at least, I knew mine was. There was so much I wanted to say, needed to say but I found myself swallowing my words. I knew I should speak up and tell him what was on my mind but I was so afraid.

I wanted to tell him how badly it made me feel that I was just an extra wheel in his life, how it hurts that I could only be his woman in private and never in public. I wanted to tell him I was tired of being just the other woman; the one that was only good enough for random escapades when the main girl was “getting on his nerves”. I wanted to know what it would be like to be his only girl in his life, I wanted him to run to me at all times and I wanted to be there for him at every turn. I knew it was too much to ask a man that was married but what could a girl want more than to be loved the same way that she loved her man.

I turned to him again and saw him smiling down at me. My heart did a little tap dance in my chest and before I knew it, I asked him
“What am I to you, Vic?”
“You are my little sunshine even when my days are not dark. You make me so happy and I’m proud you’re in my life”

His answer weakened me and as he placed tiny feathery kisses all over my face and down my neck, I became weaker. Today, I’m contented to play this role in his life; tomorrow, maybe, I’ll have the strength to speak up…

Before you get comfortable to read this, I will like to warn you that this is really a very personal issue to me; I have tattoos and so, I may be taking things overboard. Pardon me if my words will sound like I’m criticizing or condemning; maybe that’s the point of the whole article. You may also think I’m trying to justify people’s reasons for inking their bodies; that also may be the point of writing this too. Either ways, this article may offend you, condemn you, you may like it and you may be indifferent to it; the choice to continue reading this is absolutely yours but I will like you to read this to the end, to understand a little bit of how painful it is to have your body inked in an almost complete Afropolitan society like Nigeria’s.

Welcome to this part of the world where everyone thinks tattoo is a billboard that announces to the public how “bad” you can be. You see someone with a tattoo; no matter how insignificant or little whatever drawn on the body is, you become judgmental, concluding in your mind the person sporting the tattoo is either loose or a tout. Here, tattoo is as bad as the 666 mark or even worse because the devil has suddenly turned more trustworthy than you. People start to question your integrity, your intellect, your belief and all that. If your tattoo is the bold type or in a very obvious part of your body like your hands, neck etc and can’t be hidden by clothes, you have your work environment streamlined to only certain places that won’t mind having a tattooed worker on their payroll. Even then, they watch you with eagle’s eyes waiting for you to commit the littlest crime or you become a prime suspect in every crime committed at the office.

I can’t count how many times I’ve been told I would never get a job if the company about to hire me knew I have a tattoo. In my mind I would go “Really? Not even if whatever I have in my head can turn the company around for good? Even if my ideas and intellect can set the company at Dangote level?” Talk about discrimination of the highest order and this is even worse and foolish because the so called permanent tattoo is not so permanent, it can be lasered off. People judging and condemning all because of a body art that can be removed; that’s like a white man hating on another white man all because he coated his body with a temporary dark paint. Everywhere you turn; even on social media, there is someone pointing and deducing the kind of lifestyle you have based on the tattoo on your body. To them, the girl with the tattoo is promiscuous, bitchy, dumb, possible drug addict, alcoholic and has no plans for herself and her future kind of girl. The guy with the tattoo is the bullet popper, always cursing, pants sagging, drug addict, street urchin, alcoholic, no plans to be a better person kind of guy.

Even the media, through movies, billboards, music videos, has somehow helped to promote these images about people sporting inked arts on their body. And because of these thoughts or crazy distorted images, we are not “fit” for good jobs, good relationships, good lifestyle; in fact, everything good should be taken from us and it gets me thinking a harmless tattoo makes us the bad guy or deserve the worst when there are people out there with terrible habits and characters. What happened to the rapists, the sociopath, the ritualists, the woman beaters, the real thieves, the drug addicts? They deserve better than us because their is nothing on their body to show who they are? It’s okay to be evil in private and then point fingers at innocent people in public because of body arts? You may think that some people with tattoos are these things, yeah, you’re correct and so are people without tattoos too. Tattoos are bad cos the bible condemns it? Yes, very true. The same bible points to us that even if our sins are as red as scarlet, God is ready to wash us as white as snow. The same bible pointed out how “all” have sinned and come short of God’s glory, not few people, not certain people, not only those who have tattoos but everybody. As far as I know, we all have one really bad attitude that is worse than having the body inked.

So, stop with the condemnation already. We may have marred our natural skins with beautiful work of artificial arts but that does not stop us from being good people, devout believers, intelligent, ambitious, creative thinkers and a lot more; there is so much more to us than tattoos. Don’t judge us, we are more than who you think we are….

The other day, I saw one of old school mates I used to play pranks with and it got me thinking about my life and the dreams I had neglected due to lack of money and more, like of dedication on my part. Unlike me who was waiting in the sun for the one of the cheap “sole” buses to pass by, my friend was driving her very own 2014 BMW; the third of her babies as she had said. When the car had stopped by my side, I had been thinking of how to play ignorance if the driver asked for direction. Not that I was bitter as you may have thought, it is just annoying that car owners usually presume bus hoppers like me knew every route. I’ll be in the sun waiting to for a bus that will be shield me from the scalding heat for a while and someone in a fine ass ride, AC blowing will just stop me and ask me where that bus stop is. I just look and shrug; playing deaf and dumb. If they could afford such expensive cars, GPS should not be a problem.

As I was saying before I digressed, my friend got down from the car and gave me a really fierce hug that almost pushed me inside the gutter. I was going to pour the annoyance of the heat on her but I stopped when she screamed my nickname. No one had called me “Pringles” since my university days and even then, only few people did. I drew back and recognized her, it was Yetunde; the scrawniest of my friends except she had added flesh in the right places and she was looking so radiant. She wore a black statement tee with “I’m A Go-Getter” wriiten on it on a blue ripped jean and a pair of brogues on her feet. Her aviator glasses was placed on a wavy black weave-on that could have been mistaken for her hair except for the length. Her makeup was so simple yet classy and was intact unlike that had been smeared by my hands trying to wipe sweat off my face. I felt suddenly so conscious and wished I had worn something more classy than my pair of faded jeans, sweatshirt and slippers.

I consciously used my hand to put loose tendrils of my hair back and wished I had made the long overdue trip to the salon I had been postponing because I was a bit broke. Yetunde, being her usual over friendly, always chatty and smiling, she volunteered to take me in her ride to wherever I was going to so we could play catch up. I wanted to jump at the offer, if not for anything but for the artificial cooling machine but I refused because I was so ashamed of myself. How could I allow her drop me at the shop where I work as a sales girl after all the times in school I had bragged I was going to be my own boss at 25. I was nearing 30 and not even close to having a good job. Gosh, what went wrong with me? What happened to that girl with life plans and the zeal to be a better person?

Yetunde was too happy to have noticed my discomfort. She pushed her card in my hand when I told her I was waiting for an imaginary fiance to pick me up. She wanted to talk, she wanted to play catch up and see what more pranks I had up my sleeves since I left school. I just smiled and promised her a call. Watching her as she drove, I could feel the tears burning, threatening to be free from their confines. I could not even bear to look at the card, I dumped in my worn out hand bag. Work; no longer on my mind. I suddenly felt so ashamed of myself; ashamed enough to fix myself. I turned back and started walking back to my one room apartment. It was time for me to pick up that forgotten journal and start working towards achieving my goal. If Yetunde the scrawny, not so brilliant kid could do, why couldn’t I. It was high time I bid farewell to mediocrity and started living as the more I was created to be…

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To the one that will always be the sunshine in my dark clouds, I just want to tell you how much you mean to me. I know over the years you have heard me say it; maybe you’re even tired of hearing but I can never be tired of telling you how much it makes […]

Who I am, I know not anymore…
The darkness is seeping in
Dimming the lights that was once there…
I am lost, please find me…

What I am, I have forgotten.
Uncertainty creeps in, stealing my boldness.
I am a confused mess
Please bring me understanding

Help!! Help!!, my mind screams
Longing for a saviour, to bring me clarity
To rekindle my hope
I crave nothing else but redemption
Redemption of a lost soul afraid to be found

I’m imprisoned by the horrors of my fear
Afraid to be found again
Yet scared of what may happen if I’m not
I’m torn apart
Terrified I may, at last, bring peril to myself

And I’m forever to be doomed
Lost in a dark, gloomy world
Help me, find redemption for me
That a soul once filled with darkness
May see true and pure light again

Love is sweet and all that; that’s what they say but I say love is what you make of it, either good or bad.

Love is what makes you comfortable, what makes the world seem so balanced. It doesn’t matter if it is good or not.

Love is true but can be lies. Your kind of love is not the type I want but it has given me security. It may be bad but at least, I belong to somebody; you call me yours

In search of truth, I lost myself to the lies that you are…. I should run but I want the lies more than the truth. Maybe I am afraid of reality, maybe I am…

In search of love, I lost myself to hate. It’s not what I want but I am so afraid of being alone, I will take it anyways. Don’t tell me I’m a fool, your hatred is better than nothing; way better.

Common sense says I should flee, my heart wants to desperately stay and my mind is torn between both decisions. I should flee, for my sanity but my heart says stay

I am comfortable with you; at least I know what to expect. It’s not that I love you, it’s not that I can’t run, I’m not a fool, I just love the lies in my truth.

I should leave you and turn to the truth but I am so afraid to be alone. Maybe I am afraid of reality, maybe I am…

Love so sour, love so bad, love so mean but I will stay still because this reality is better than nothing. I am comfortable with you; the lies in my truth

P.S: Please join my bbm channel; The Inkheart’s. Channel pin: C00446F02…
You can also invite your friends to join. Don’t forget to like or leave comments…. Thanks 🙂

There are days when you feel so lost even when your paths are clearly laid out for you. You grope about in darkness despite the light that is shining brightly upon you. You feel yourself stumbling over obstacles, sometimes you fall and then find it hard to get on your feet and when you finally find yourself on your feet, you feel like you cannot carry on any longer. No matter how easy people tell you that task is or you know within your heart it is, it just seems so difficult. You feel your strength, your wisdom, all the understanding you have of the knowledge you have acquired in the past keeps failing you. You search for the answer; you know it is somewhere but you can’t just reach it. You’ve tried so hard to figure out what it is but everything is failing you. You have even prayed but nothing is working, it suddenly feels like God has left you, neglected you to your own whims. You really want to believe otherwise, you want to have faith, you want to hold on but you feel so alone and it feels like God is nowhere to be found.

When you pick your bible to search for motivation, the usual words that gave you the encouragement in the past seemed to be a burden. You feel so heavy in your heart like you are carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. You want to trust in God but that medical diagnosis, overdue bills, empty fridge, lack of job tells you there is nothing to trust God for. You really want to believe there is more to your life than just living but when you look at your problems, names people have called you, things people said you could never do, places they say you can never reach; you feel like there is nothing to believe. Why believe when you’re not getting results.

There are days when you feel like world’s greatest failure, a mistake. Days when you wish you could just die and let it all go. There are days when you just can’t carry on any longer, days when 6ft below is a better place to you. Those days when you just go on, not because you have something to latch on to but because death has refused to visit. Days when you doubt there is God or a supreme being somewhere who can take all your sorrows away. You wake up with a gaping hole in your heart and you sleep with so much pain in your heart. You are surrounded by lots of people yet you feel like you are standing alone. You have no reason to live anymore because you feel so dead within.

Maybe you’ve been told you can never be good enough for anything and you believe it because nothing good seems to come out of you. You have made people’s declaration about your life to be your guideline. Maybe you’ve been shunned, written off, pushed aside and neglected. Maybe they said you would have been better off a dead man and you believe it because you feel like a walking zombie.

On those days, God is waiting for you to just run back to Him and say you surrender it all at His feet. God is waiting for you to come to Him and tell him to take the wheels. He is waiting on you, ready to change your story. Dump human reports and believe the report of God that says you can do all things because He is your strength. He can turn your trials into triumph, your tests into testimonies, your mess into messages. He can turn your neglected cornerstone into a chief cornerstone and bring out the best out in you. When you feel like it is all over, just turn to God and tell him to take charge. In our time of confusion, God is just waiting in one corner, waiting for us to say that we can’t go on without Him. The most amazing thing about laying it all God’s feet is that when He says Yes to you, no one dares to question Him. He will open a door for you and no man dares to shut it. With Him, it is not about the man with the biggest muscles or most degrees or finest qualifications but the man who He has bestowed upon His grace and mercy. When God singles you out for transformation, people who doubted you would celebrate you. Your past mistakes doesn’t even matter with God because His love towards you is new everyday. Whether or not you deserve a second chance, God will give it to you. He will make you a living proof that God is the definition of love and forgiveness.

When you find yourself down, walking down the path where it is all gloomy, remember there is someone walking that path with you and that person is God; the One who can make the difference in you. After all, He laid down His life that you may live forever.

Bible Reading: Jeremiah 29 vs 11, Isaiah 40 vs 31, Psalm 34 vs 18

Prayer Point: When it feels like nothing is working for me anymore, Lord, remind me that though sorrow may tarry for the night but joy comes in the morning. Help me not to lose Hope in You.

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Another poem from one of my favourite poets ever… His poems evoke deep emotions and paint clear pictures… I love him, I hope you do too.. Please, he needs your comments and likes (sincere ones though); he is a budding writer and needs your opinions. They will matter… Please join my bbm channel: C00446F02 for […]

When I first thought of writing this post, I wanted desperately to pour out all the anger I was feeling for something that happened to me yesterday. I wanted to write and write till my hand was aching me but when I started, something occurred to me that I was obviously not the only one going through this ish. So many people out there have parents who are real pains in their asses and it is actually a terrible thing when we think about it. Maybe I should start by sharing what happened to me yesterday with you guys. I’m not afraid of anybody who will come here and judge me. It is actually not going to bug me one bit because the fact that I can write about it doesn’t mean I want to condemn anybody but to help so many people out there. After all, we are all going to be parents one day.

About two years ago, I was going through a whole lot of issues that was making me depressed and was afraid to share with anyone. I drew into my shell because I saw myself as being vulnerable and susceptible to being betrayed and hurt. I stopped talking with my best friend, I totally alienated myself from a lot of people who I’m sure could have helped me through that phase. I was angry and sad and could not trust anybody anymore. The best way to deal with everything going on with me was partying excessively, drinking, smoking and skipping school. That went on for almost a year until my parents found out and the stuff got to my faculty officer and had to be withdrawn from the school. Scared of my father, I ran away from home twice and had to go home because of my mom. My dad practically disowned me and although I’ve begged, he still insisted on having nothing to do with me.

My mom (God bless her soul) took up the challenge of sponsoring my education and I’m grateful for that because I know how hard it has been especially dealing with my dad who strongly wants me to be a desolate because what I did earlier. It’s been two years, in my final year and my dad hasn’t still moved on. I know how disappointed someone can be when someone fails you but is that enough to write that person off that he/she can never fail us? I’m a totally changed person and he refused to see that. He keeps on holding on to a past that has vapourised. My mom keeps telling me to ignore everything he says to me and face my studies squarely but that can sometimes be hard when every time I step home, all my dad is about is the money I wasted then and not the progress I’m making now.

I do not hate him despite everything. He’s not given a kobo since that time and I never bothered him with it. My mom doesn’t bother him too. Why then should he in every way look for a way to pull me down instead of encourage me to go further? Just yesterday, he still told someone not to help me with my IT placement in nestle. Is my offence so great that the dude can’t think of forgiveness? Is he not teaching be as unforgiving as he is? It is so bad that I can’t even go to the house and call it a home because I can’t find happiness there. I can stay away for half a year without missing the place and when I tell people I don’t want to go home, they get all preachy on me just because they don’t know half of the things I go through in the hands of my “father”. Parents are guardians and role models to their children but what lessons am I supposed to pick from this man? If I treat my own children the same way he is treating me, will he be happy with me? Or if he grows old and grey and we all gang up to not take care of him or neglect, how will he feel?.

So many parents do not even understand the reasons for getting married and making babies. They just do it to please the society. I could have asked him if he preferred me dead rather than succeed but all I could ask was what of God up there that we fail every minute and forgives us every time. I’ve watched my father do so many absurd things since I was small that marriage scares the hell out of me. Whenever someone says the prayer “a man like your father is who you will meet”, I’m quick to reject it without thinking twice. Who wants a man who acts as if he did us a favour by giving birth to us or who wants a man that will make my kids hide in terror whenever they hear his voice. I should see my dad and say, that’s the kind of man I want to marry or be like not the other way round. He makes such a poor role model and many times, I wished my mom never met him.

I know parenting is tough but as youths, we can still change things by thinking thoroughly what we want to achieve in the lives of our kids before thinking of marriage. I know marriage is the union of two people who love themselves, been through happy and sad together and have found themselves compatible to live together but we should place our emotions aside and consider what’s best for our children. When you can’t train your kids well, they go all off and you too can’t be happy. Whatever stigma your child carries, you carry it too. Think of the best thing you want your children to be and look for someone who shares the same opinion with you.